I don’t know if it’s the dislike for Ariel, but I really just don’t understand the concept of mermaids.  I mean, I get that their top half is human but what is the bottom half?  Are they half fish?  Are they a mammal?  It’s very confusing!  Their tails move up and down like a mammal (as opposed to fish who’s tails move side to side) but they have scales which is a fish feature.  I feel like nobody really thought this through.  Did the illustrators really think that no one was going to question this?  And speaking of ‘the illustrators’, who was the first person to mermaid?  Because that person is the one to blame for this craziness!  And then everyone else just followed suit!  Look at any drawing of a mermaid…they are all the same…human body with a tail that has scales and moves up and down.  Now, I’m talking about modern day depictions of mermaids.  If you are going to get all intellectual and start talking about the origin of the myth of the mermaid which was thousands of years ago, blah blah blah…just stop.  I don’t want to hear about that crap.  Why would you even start that, we are talking about mermaids…fictional creatures.  The fact that I am actually spending time to write this and you are actually spending time to read this is ridiculous.  Are we past that now?  Great.  Ok, now close your eyes and picture a mermaid.  Now in that picture, doesn’t she have a tail with scales (and is also possibly wearing a sea shell bra)?  So what is it, a fish or a mammal?  They have no classification and that’s what freaks me out.  How do they pee?  How do they poop?  How do they have baby mermaids?  Do they lay eggs?  Oh my God you guys, I just googled “pregnant mermaid” and this picture came up.

I am so disturbed right now.  Who’s baby is it?!  Didn’t King Triton turn Ariel into a human at the end of the movie?  That means it can’t be Eric’s baby!  Maybe this was supposed to have happened before the movie took place.  Was Ariel a teenage mother?!  I wouldn’t be surprised with her history of defiance!  Where is the baby now?  And why is Flounder so close to the spot where her vagina could be?!  IS IT FLOUNDER’S BABY?!?!?!  I mean, her bottom half, and therefore her reproductive organs, could be fish.  How did the baby get inside?!  AAAAAHHHHH!  I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!  Who would even draw this picture?  What purpose could this possibly have?  I am so off topic now, I don’t even remember what this post was supposed to be about.  I can’t even think straight so I’m just going to wrap it up.  Mermaids are weird.  But not weird in a cool, doing their own thing because they want to branch out from the norm and then everyone ends up wanting to be like them because they are super original kind of way.  More like weird in a you make no sense in this universe kind of a way.  I mean, I can handle flying carpets and a magic spell that turns a boy into a beast but a girl who is a human on top and a fish on the bottom?!  Whoa!  That’s crazy!